I’ve been trying to find a good hairdresser in middle Tennessee since last year. I went to one lady who did just an okay job, but the bigger problem is I have to book her two weeks in advance. For the past few months I’ve driven past a certain salon here in town, and my mother has urged me to go in and ask if they do black hair. I kept looking for signs that they did my type of hair. I never see people going in or out of the salon as I’m driving by, but granted, I don’t often pay attention every time I drive by. I have noticecd that the boy in the sign out in front of the salon looks Hispanic or possibly mixed race, and the other poster is of a white woman.

I finally called yesterday and asked if they did black hair. The woman on the phone said she didn’t but that one of her co-workers, who was absent that day, does black hair. I gave her my number and she said she’d call right back. After she didn’t call me back yesterday, I drove to the salon to make an appointment. The lady who does black hair wasn’t working today either. So they called and got her phone number from someone else. I tried calling her, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. I left her a message, but for some reason I doubt she’ll get back to me.

I called the JC Penney hair salon today, even though I’ve never seen any negroes in their salon at any time ever. The lady on the phone said she’s the one at the JC Penney salon who can do black hair. I felt relieved. Two seconds later she asked, “What kind of hair do you have?”

“Just regular black people hair,” I said, and then burst into 1/3 amused, 1/3 annoyed, and 1/3 baffled laughter.

She did not laugh.

“I mean, is it very coarse?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, hesitating a little. I’d heard black women hairdressers in the past refer to it as soft, and I’m not sure if it would be coarse compared to other black people’s hair or if it would only be coarse to white people. “Yes,” I said, sounding a bit more confident. “It’s coarse and curly. Kinky too.”

She made the appointment for me, and after we hung up the phone she called back five minutes later as I was driving to work. She left me a voicemail saying she doesn’t have “the right products” to “stretch out” my hair.

WTF? I never asked for a relaxer. I only want someone to wash my hair and set it in thin rollers and put me under a hair dryer. I’d do it myself, but I’m not good with rolling my hair to make it lay the way the professionals do it. The JC Penney lady gave me the number to another white lady who supposedly does black hair. I called this lady and she told me her hair dryer is broken and thus she cannot do my hair either. Am I going to have to drive all the way to Nashville to get my hair done? Looks like.